Move over Marie Kondo, forget about hygge, and don’t try becoming a minimalist, just Death Clean.
When my clients told me they were death cleaning, my face must have taken on a look of sheer discomfort. My husband has always told me that I am a bad liar because I don’t have one of those faces that can go expressionless at the snap of a finger. No, I have the what you see is what you get type of face.
I must say that has worked to my advantage professionally because colleagues, friends, clients and family know that I do what I say, I say what I mean, and that I can be trusted. That is why I would have failed terribly as a gambler, but it is what has made me a trusted professional.
Anyway, back to the death cleaning. My client quickly went on to explain, I am certain as a way to make my anxious worried wrinkles relax into my more familiar smiley face. The process of death cleaning comes from what the Swedes call Dostadning.
Dostadning is the mindful and proactive clearing out of items. In Sweden this is often done by, but not only by, those who are older to simplify their lives and possessions to ease the burden on loved ones who will handle their estate after they pass away.
As a Realtor who specializes in Trust and Estate sales of real estate property, I have had more than one meeting with potential sellers who have lived in their home for decades. I have felt the emotional weight of their or their family’s decision to sell.
After all they are planning to sell a place that is full of wonderful memories and emotions. The walls that surround them were the abode where they lived when they built their careers, raised a family, shared holidays, entertained friends, experienced great joys as well as deep sorrow. This place, their home, had become woven into their very being, but was now too large, too expensive, maybe even too much to care for, causing them to not really enjoy their home, just reside in their home. This home, which began as a blank canvas, was now a fully completed masterpiece......and now the time has come for the next chapter, but that doesn’t mean making the move and selling the house will be an easy transition.
Okay, back again to the death cleaning. My sellers went on to explain they loved the house they listed with me, they really had curated the home with great antiques, intriguing artwork, mindful choices that made their lifestyle comfortable. But they also had a lot of stuff. Intellectually, they knew they were making the right lifestyle move to get closer to family and create connections and memories that would shape the lives of their grandchildren hopefully long after they would leave this earth.
They also knew they wanted a smaller, more lock and leave type home that afforded them the opportunities of daily beach walks, restaurants within blocks of the house and a community vibe that was more in line with their current lives.
So, in came the death cleaning. I hadn’t heard of Dostadning before that day. That evening while eating grilled fish and a big salad, I started talking to my husband about death cleaning. We both embraced the idea, and started over the next few months, slowly doing some death cleaning ourselves, even though we aren’t moving from our house, at least not yet.
I must say it is quite freeing. Over several months I donated kitchenware, clothing, odd items that you forever look at in your closet but never let go. For example, I had a CD holder taking up space in a closet with misc. CDs on it that we never listen to. I picked the CDs we liked, organized them in the audio cabinet, put the 90’s looking CD rack at the curb with a sign FREE on it and within 3 hours it was gone. Probably now taking up space in someone else’s house and thankfully freeing up space in mine.
One less thing for our children someday to look at and wonder, “Why in the world do they have this? And now we must deal with getting rid of this relic.”
Dostadning is great whether you are moving or not because when you realize how many material things we take through life that we really don’t need or collect things that mean something to us but really not to our family, you make wiser buying choices and let go more easily of material things.
Understanding the philosophy of Dostadning makes de-cluttering easy, makes throwing or donating used items feel good, not hard, and it allows you to live in the moment, look to the future with respect to the past. It allows you to think, grow and plan your next chapter with enthusiasm rather than regret or agony. It allows you to become focused on your mission: selling your home for the most amount of money for your retirement or to spend on your next home.
For more information on downsizing, rightsizing, selling your family home, selling your parents home or death cleaning 😉, or if you have ideas to share, you can reach me at michelle.serafini@compass.com.
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